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david m. bailey: Music & Lyrics

Airport Song (aka the butt song)

(david m. bailey)
post 9-11 travel trials... :-)
No sir I am not carrying a gun
no sir I don't have anything from anyone
Yes sir my bags have been with me all the time
Yes sir I am happy to be stepping out of line
Yes sir id be glad to take off my stinky shoes
No sir I am certainly not making fun of you
Yes sir you may certainly rifle through my case
No sir I am not making a funny face
Yes sir I understand you have a job to do
No sir I am not trying to make it hard for you
Yes sir I will lift up my arms and touch the sky
Yes sir you may touch my back and touch my thigh
Yes sir if you must you can touch my head
But sir if I were you I would touch my butt instead
No sir that’s not a joke , ,you misunderstood
But if I were a bad guy that’s where id hide my goods
You may want to think about checking everybody’s butts,
Give em all a squeeze- In fact, I’ll tell you what
I’ll suggest it to your boss and to the FAA
I think that it would give you A more interesting day
More folks would want your job - You might even get a raise
And all the happy butt squeezers, Would give you the praise
Yes sir here’s my ticket and my photo id
The other ten who’ve seen it all said it looks like me
No sir I’m not a wise ass just telling you the truth
My wise days are over I left them in my youth
These days I’m much more serious these days I act my age
And we are all just players and all the world’s a stage
So you act out your part and watch me act out mine
And when the day is done I’m sure well both be fine
Except that I’ll have flown my700th flight
And you will still be squeezing frisking late into the night. Ha.