Skip to Content Skip to Navigation

david m. bailey: Music & Lyrics

Wet Behind the Ears

(david m. bailey)
I said I really wanna join your church
And they want me to get baptized again
I told them that I’d already been baptized
They said it’s not the what, it’s the when
I said once was good enough for God
Are you saying it’s not good enough for you?
They said well, until w’re sure it’s your decision
We’ll never know if your heart is true
I rolled my eyes and said OK then
I’ll prove that I believe the things I’ve said
Make me an appointment Sunday morning
And you can sprinkle water on my head
They said well sir, it’s really not that simple
You see, you must be completely wet
We’re gonna have to dunk you Only then can we be certain
After that you’re free to join us – but not yet
I said, well, I get nervous underwater
My cousin drowned when she was only seven
So how ’bout I just kneel in your fancy marble pool
Surely that’s enough to get to heaven?
They said well, that will sort of be a problem
You’d only be saved from the chest down
And the people in this church are saved from head to toe
To have a legs-saved only man would make a lot of folks frown
I said, well, how bout I just lay down i my bathtub
And you can douse my body with a hose
I’d be completely soaked and I’d feel a whole lot better
You could even squirt water up my nose
They said God bless you for trying
Even though it’s clear that you mean well
Best go on your way, and we’ll be praying for you
And the dry parts of you that are bound for hell
I said that’s not the God I worship, never have, do you know why?
Now please excuse me while I take the speck from my eye